No I WONT fix your #%$!#@ PC! & Some FREE tips

I’m sure all techies/geeks/computer literate people are familiar with concept..

Once you know something about PC’s, the worst is having a degree in computer science or similar, everyone, their aunt and their dogs automagically excepts you to spend hours fixing their PC’s for free, I mean WTF is that all about?

You know what all techies should be give a free t-shirt when they graduate like this:

I’ve had it so many times I actually have gotten sick of it, it was worse back in UK as here most of my friends are at least partially tech-savvy, but still some like Faggot cannot keep spyware off their PC for more than 2 days…STOP SURFING SO MANY DODGY PR0N SITES DUDE!

It’s always the same though, especially people from older generations…

Aunt: “Hey, I heard you are a PC wiz?”
Geek: “Er, Yeah I know a bit about computers, you could say that”
Aunt: “Well my PC is broken”
Geek: “So…what’s wrong with it?”
Aunt: “You’re the wiz, I thought you’re supposed to tell me that?”
Geek: “You wouldn’t take your car to a mechanic and just say ‘There’s something wrong with it’ right? You have to give us a clue..”
Aunt: “Blah blah blah, by the way I think my cup-holder broke, I’ll show you..”

And on and on..

Anyway what IS up with that, it’s not like people hear their friend just got a qualifaction as a nurse and then asks them round to look up their arsehole cos it’s itchy?

Same if people know mechanics, they take the car to the workshop, they don’t call the guy and ask them to come round and spend a few hours in the garage fixing their car for free…

Some tips for you anyway, FOR FREE..

1) Use FireFox[/url] to avoid problems with Spyware and Adware
2) Just incase, install Spybot S&D and Ad-Aware[/url]
3) If you need a good free Anti-Virus I suggest Avast!
4) Back-up your important stuff (Photos/documents and so on), buy a CD-writer and some blank CD’s both are very cheap now
5) Switch off and unplug your PC and modem during electrical storms unless you have a GOOD surge protector
6) Defragment and Scandisk your PC now and then to keep the filesystem healthy
7) Don’t keep millions of crappy files on your computer that you don’t need
8) Don’t install every demo game and shareware crap you see
9) Be cautious when downloading dodgy software and from where
10) Support OPEN SOURCE software (Firefox, Thunderbird, FileZilla etc.)
11) Disable uneccesary services in Windows (Info HERE)
12) Run Windows update regularly HERE
13) If you are directly connected to the net use a personal firewall like ZoneAlarm

Don’t assume just because we know about computers we want to fix your shit, if you take care of your PC, we won’t NEED to fix it, educate yourself, educate the other people that use your PC.

If you don’t know something, go to Google and SEARCH for it, don’t be a dumb ass and just ask, because you are lazy.

A message for those that don’t lies at FUCKING GOOGLE IT[/url]

If you need to ask questions online at a forum like SFDC[/url] for example, or in Usenet please read this first: How to Ask Smart Questions

A lot of the same advice runs for real life, you will get a lot more positive response from anyone with a brain if you demonstrate you’ve actually done something for yourself or thought about it, like tried to fix the problem, or done some research or what. For sure then we’ll help you..

But if you are just a lazy dumbfuck too stupid to look up anything yourself, you can lick my salty nut sacks ok.

Things like that really bug me, it’s like at my old workplace when people used to assume because I’m in I.T. I know everything about computers, including Excel, Word and other crap which I don’t even use (I am an OpenOffice[/url] advocate). This sometimes extended to ridiculous lengths, at one company I was in I.T. so apparently I also knew about everything that was electrical or communications based, like phones, faxes, photocopiers and once even a fucking TOASTER.

How stupid is that?

Yeah I know about computers, does that mean I know about faxes and photocopiers, no it fucking doesn’t ok, but more often than not I could fix the problem as I just looked at the instructions (RTFM) and WORKED IT OUT.

I got all kinds of dumb questions like that…something along the lines of “How do I do XYZ in Word?”


So what do I do, I hit F1 and search the help index, look around in the context menus or Google it, and I will work it out or find it..I mean surely that’s not rocket science right?

People need to think before they speak…problem is I am ranting here, but all the people that will read this are already informed, techno-literate (in most part) people…not the unscrubbed, ignorant, un-informed masses that PISS ME OFF.

Anyway there’s a Friday rant for you, have a great weekend.




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25 Responses to No I WONT fix your #%$!#@ PC! & Some FREE tips

  1. kimberlycun March 25, 2005 at 2:25 am #

    n i’ll have to reformat my aunt’s pc eventhough she could have done it herself….damn si beh sien! like yeah fucking google it man…

  2. FireAngel March 25, 2005 at 3:03 am #


  3. Andy March 25, 2005 at 3:15 am #

    I agree with all but one of the 13 points you’ve mentioned… ZoneAlarm is only good if you’re using the Pro version… If it’s the Free version, you’re basically using a crippled firewall that crashes regularly… Outpost or Kerio would be a better choice… =)

  4. ShaolinTiger March 25, 2005 at 3:19 am #

    Yeah I agree, hence I said something like ZoneAlarm, I personally think ZoneAlarm is crap, but well it’s popular..and very easy to use. I was aiming at non-technical people..

    My favourite of all time was Conseal (Much like IPTables), followed by Outpost, Sygate and Tiny/Kerio..

    I prefer IPCop nowdays though and haven’t used a software firewall for a very long time…I tried the latest Tiny PFW and it completely took over my machine, way too invasive.

    Why can’t we just have something simple like Conseal again!

  5. MrsT March 25, 2005 at 4:30 am #

    It’s even worst .. when you own a store.. that does computer repairs.. and customer/s come in with their computer.. asking you to look into it.. and tell them what the problem is.. and then not paying you a single cent.. for all the trouble you went .. to find out what is wrong with the puter.. coz’ they can’t afford to pay for the repairs.. hah! that is even more retarded..!!

  6. Chewxy March 25, 2005 at 4:40 am #

    Sigh.. you are not the only one who faces this kind of problem.. they just tend to think that you know everything that goes wrong in their computers… sheesh

  7. Reta March 25, 2005 at 5:33 am #

    I need a man to fix fix fix ….i need a …hehe.. nothing =P

  8. Hallaj March 25, 2005 at 5:38 am #

    Agreed, there’s once I was doing a favour for my sister’s friend. When I checked, it turns out that the mobo is fried. I told her that it needs to be replaced and she said something like.. “replace? You cant reprogram it ar? I thought you’re in the computing fields!”. I wanted to smack her right away, but.. *sigh* >_<

  9. Jon Choo March 25, 2005 at 8:04 am #

    I once had to take the bus across London for 1 1/2 hour just to fix my relatives PC. Said no sound coming out. Turned out the turned off her speaker.

    Mind you she is 70 but still…! Atleast I had free dinner.

  10. Dabido (Teflon) March 25, 2005 at 8:10 am #

    In spite of the fact I left IT two years ago, I am always getting requests to fix PC’s and stuff. I try to explain, “I was a Network Engineer NOT PC Support! I don’t use Microsoft.” It doesn’t deter them. (Actually, I had that problem with managers at the last place I worked too … and they were supposed to be IT savy).
    Still, I am very temped to get a 1800 number and whenever someone asks, I’ll get them to phone their problems in. Then I just get the 1800 to play a phone message:
    “Thank you for calling the Dabido Help Line. Your call is important to us, please hold. There are five hundred other requests before your. Please hold. The current wait time is fifteen hours.”
    [Cue Muzak]
    If they wait long enough, the message will replay … again and again and again ad infinitum. Might be a good business to start and hire it out to other techies as well! 🙂

  11. Jaja March 25, 2005 at 9:34 am #

    actually when i was in uni i used to have an old squeeze who’d jump at every opportunity to come to my house to fix my PC. even if my PC didn’t need fixing. lol

  12. oja March 25, 2005 at 2:08 pm #

    google rocks!!!

  13. Ted March 26, 2005 at 4:06 am #

    Yeh! You go, ST! You have espoused the same advice I’ve been TRYING to beat into people for years – and the frustration asscociated with the same… [LOL]

    I acutally have biz cards that state “NO, I WILL NOT FIX YOUR FSCKING COMPUTER – FOR SUPPORT DIAL 1-800-DUM-N00B”.

    I know that all of us were N00Bs once and I’m more than happy to contribute to the advancment of other’s skills, but I got sick of being the neighbourhood’s resident “tech support guy”.

    I still help friends out when they have ‘puter problems (I request the standard fee of beer and food [LOL]) but other than that, I provide guidance and leave the rest up to them.



  14. eyerings March 26, 2005 at 12:14 pm #

    yah 🙁
    Could somebody tell me how to NOT feel GUILTY when telling my elder sis those I-WONT-FIX-YOUR-F*CKING-PC words ?
    Cause I have to either feel GUILTY or yeah – fix her computer (and her friends’ as well) every other day, now that I’m LIVING in HER HOUSE!!! @#$%^$@^%$&
    Else, risk being labelled a “mean , selfish younger sister”. sigh..

  15. ShaolinTiger March 26, 2005 at 7:36 pm #

    Oooh had plenty of things like that..

    “My PC is broken”

    They kicked the power cable out/turned the monitor off etc. etc..

  16. Dabido (Teflon) March 27, 2005 at 3:50 am #

    Well, if you fixed it right you’ll never have to fix it again. Use a circuit breaker in the form of an axe! 🙂 Wooops! Wrong sort fo fixin’ I think! 🙂 Silly me!
    I suggest you hang out at some place with lonely young male geeks, and convince them to come back to your sistes place, then get them to fix it. Play on their egos by telling them how smart they are and stuff.
    As far as guilt is concerned, it’s there for a reason. Maybe you are too phlegmatic. I always help my family with their PC problems (as much as I can. Being non-PC oriented and everything.) but my mother is learning to solve problems herself. Hopefully my mother will know more about PC’s than me one day.
    Maybe spend some time explaining the issues to your sister as you fix it, then she can learn.
    Or charge her by getting her to give you food. 🙂

  17. david March 27, 2005 at 7:15 am #

    i can relate to the fax machine request.
    ever been asked to fix a photostat machine ? 😛

  18. TheGreatFaggot March 27, 2005 at 2:28 pm #

    Looks like Agent Smith is terrorising me com again….. :/

  19. KY March 27, 2005 at 8:13 pm #

    my cousin’s PC still sitting in my kitchen, for about 3 weeks now. hee-hee

  20. Paul Tan March 28, 2005 at 6:15 am #

    I feel the same.

  21. earl-ku March 28, 2005 at 12:50 pm #

    hey while you are at it

  22. ShaolinTiger March 28, 2005 at 10:17 pm #

    Yeah fax machine, photocopier, toaster, light switch, anything with a current..I’ve been asked to fix it..

  23. GoogleIT April 8, 2005 at 5:26 am #

    5 stars blog post!

    1 of the best blog post I have read.

    Fucking moron, go goole it before bugging me.

  24. ITguy April 5, 2006 at 9:07 pm #

    Here’s what I give my friend who asks me to fix their pc:

    Fix Your Own PC

    It works.