What doneness do you want?

May 3rd, 2006 by ShaolinTiger at 9:43 AM MYT - 1,722 views

The waiter at Chili's asked me after I ordered my Mushroom Swiss Burger.

I was dumbfucked, like huh? What?

Wait-ah:"What doneness do you want sir? For your Swiss Burger?"

Moi: "Excuse me? I didn't catch you?

Wait-ah:"What doneness do you want?"

I paused after this, my brain churning for a while as to what he was talking about, it was like a puzzle, or some kind of wordgame in my head..

Doneness...Done?...Did...Done? Ah...Well Done! Medium Done...

He meant how did I want it cooked, 'doneness' there the good fella went and invented a new word.

"Ah, medium-well" I replied...that's the doneness I require!

Tags: chilis, Eating, Funny, Humour, joke, Malaysia

Posted in Weird/Humour | -

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24 Comments so far

meekie on May 3rd, 2006 at 10:13 am
Using Mozilla Firefox 1.5.0.2 on Windows XP

LoL.... guess what. The fella at Marche, in The Curve said the same too! I was like..."WAT...??"

Then this lady next to me explained..he meant how well you like to cook.

I looked so dumb!!!
walski69 on May 3rd, 2006 at 10:52 am
Using Internet Explorer 6.0 on Windows XP

Done did do-ness... Yeah, Manglish can be pretty dumbstriking at times... Nowsaday people really don't know how to talking correct one... But it makes for a smirk every now and again...

And this comment is, well... done.
Chris Chong on May 3rd, 2006 at 11:54 am
Using Mozilla Firefox 1.5.0.2 on Mac OS X

Kena at Marche before also - went to the dessert section and asked the dude behind the counter what sort of cake I was looking at.

"Grah-per", he said...

Took me five minutes to realise what he said.
pik on May 3rd, 2006 at 12:19 pm
Using Mozilla Firefox 1.5.0.3 on Windows XP

thats definitely new hahahaha
Intensecure on May 3rd, 2006 at 2:17 pm
Using Mozilla Firefox 1.5.0.2 on Windows XP

Brilliant!
I'll be using that tonight when I'm cooking for the in-laws.
Giant Sotong on May 3rd, 2006 at 3:33 pm
Using Internet Explorer 6.0 on Windows XP

Apparently, "doneness" is part of the culinary jargon. Only knew this recently.
KY on May 3rd, 2006 at 3:45 pm
Using Mozilla Firefox 1.0.7 on Windows XP

I see you still have yet to fully grasp the extend of Manglish that we are all so proud of.
S-Kay on May 3rd, 2006 at 4:42 pm
Using Mozilla Firefox 1.5.0.3 on Windows XP

"Grah-per"? What's that suppose to translate to?
Boss Stewie on May 3rd, 2006 at 5:24 pm
Using Mozilla Firefox 1.5.0.2 on Windows XP

what 'doneness'.... ahh some of us malaysians just love to make up words...
suanie on May 3rd, 2006 at 5:53 pm
Using Mozilla Firefox 1.5.0.2 on Windows XP

hehehe best waiter evar!

"Doneness... Done?... Did... Done? Ah...Well Done! Medium Done..."

reminds me of the sperm whale in hg2g
Chris Chong on May 3rd, 2006 at 6:20 pm
Using Mozilla Firefox 1.5.0.3 on Mac OS X

"Grah-per" is "grape" pronounced wrongly...
JC on May 3rd, 2006 at 9:42 pm
Using Internet Explorer 6.0 on Windows XP

Mushroom Swiss Burger is awesome. But I usually have it at Burger King with the unlimited soft drinks 'cause I guess I can't afford it at Chili's.
paradoxx on May 4th, 2006 at 1:57 am
Using Mozilla Firefox 1.5.0.2 on Windows XP

its nothing new and its not made up mate.. its been and still is part of the f&b jargon..
FireAngel on May 4th, 2006 at 9:27 am
Using Mozilla Firefox 1.0.7 on Windows XP

OMG OMG OMG I WAS THERE TOO!
crazylogy on May 4th, 2006 at 3:15 pm
Using Opera 8.54 on Windows XP

wanted to ask, i don go chilli much often but i remembered the last time i been there, chillis was taxing me like they were broke or something. Is this a usual thingy?

I ordered starter, main course and desert. It was well served, i didn't order beef/steak... tat is why i miss out the doneless. Anyway when the bills came i just paid without noticing this>>>

starter + drinks + tax&service charge = starter total

starter total + main course + tax&service charge = main course total

main course total + desert + tax&service charge = grand total

can they charge u this way? i went to fridays but they dun charge me this way?
ShaolinTiger on May 4th, 2006 at 4:41 pm
Using Mozilla Firefox 1.5.0.3 on Windows XP

meekie: Yah it's crazy, seems like its some dumbfuck American travesty of a word.

crazylogy: It's not like that, they just recalculate the entire bill every time you add any items, so you will see multiple totals, each total includes the tax etc UP TO THAT POINT only, not more. It's not compounded.

Chris Chong: I didn't think of grape either...as I haven't seen any grape cake?

KY: Well the rest of the table were Malaysian and they didn't know either...plus it seems it's not Manglish...it's dumb fuck Americanish LOL

JC: I have it at both places, Chili's one is better than BK, and they have BEER!
jill on May 5th, 2006 at 5:29 pm
Using Internet Explorer 6.0 on Windows XP

hahahaaaa!!!ding dong done!!!
TL on May 5th, 2006 at 10:23 pm
Using Internet Explorer 6.0 on Windows XP

"Doneness" is actually a proper word used in the culinary language to mean how do you want it done. It is not manglish, not american.
ShaolinTiger on May 5th, 2006 at 11:21 pm
Using Mozilla Firefox 1.5.0.3 on Windows 2000

TL: It's not a 'proper' word to me unless it's in the Oxford English Dictionary, which trust me it's not as I have one.

You can find it in the American Heritage Dictionary however, which leads me to believe that it indeed another travesty of American English.

Show me a copy of the OED with that word in and I'll believe it, until then it remains an abomination from the septic tanks.
foodcrazee on May 6th, 2006 at 12:02 pm
Using Internet Explorer 6.0 on Windows 2000

welcome to the world of hospitality with damn good english err....manglish
JC17 on May 8th, 2006 at 9:31 pm
Using Mozilla Firefox 1.0.7 on Windows XP

Agree with TL.It is a North American culinary term commonly used.It certainly not "manglish" as many of your readers mistakenly claim.The OED does not have the monopoly on English usage.After all Chillis,I believe is an American company and hence the usage of this term.Thankfully English as in many if not all languages is a living language,it is a work in progress.Even the OED adds new words and expressions to the list on a constant basis.
As far as your burger was concerned,I am totally perplexed as to why you had a choice of doneness as a beef burger (or hamburger as the rest of the world calls it) should be fully cooked to keep out bacteria.
Shopper on May 8th, 2006 at 9:58 pm
Using Internet Explorer 6.0 on Windows XP

hmm.. I can find this word in my dictionary (Kingsoft PowerWord 2003), it tell me this.

doneness
[`dQnnIs]
n.
(肉)煮熟的程度

-___-||
Ront on May 10th, 2006 at 9:32 pm
Using Mozilla Firefox 1.5.0.3 on Windows XP

are you sure it is food he was refering to? or is it...What dumbness (level) do you want (me to be)?
Places to Eat in Mon’t Kiara - Maredo’s Argentinian Steakhouse » on July 27th, 2006 at 1:58 am
Using WordPress 2.0.3

[...] And yes this is what we came for, here's my medium 'doneness' Steak. [...]