Cultural Differences Explained

This is for all you Asians who say we all look the same πŸ˜‰

Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Yanks: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can’t possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.

Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
Yanks: Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves.
Canadians: Believe that that’s the government’s job.

Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.
Yanks: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can’t agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them.
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.

Yanks: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don’t, but only because they can’t get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch four channels. (or five, if you’re lucky.)
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no-one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.

Yanks: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and basketball.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they play them in.

Yanks: Spell words differently, but still call it “English”.
Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it “English”.
Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.
Aussies: Add “G’day”, “mate” and a heavy accent to everything they say in an attempt to get laid.

Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Yanks: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.
Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.

Yanks: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer.
Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer.
Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss.
Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.

Yanks: Seem to think that poverty & failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.

Well there you go, next time you bump into an Ang Moh you should know where he’s from πŸ˜‰

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30 Responses to Cultural Differences Explained

  1. howsy December 16, 2005 at 7:36 pm #

    Hey…wot bout New Zealanders/Kiwis? They are English-speaking Caucasians also wat….

    I have another one to add:

    Yanks: Obsessed with their own TV shows, e.g. Friends, Desperate Housewives.

    Brits: Obsessed with their imported TV shows, e.g. Friends, Desperate Housewives.

    Aussies:Obsessed with their imported TV shows, e.g. Friends, Desperate Housewives.

    Canadians: Obsessed with their imported TV shows, e.g. Friends, Desperate Housewives.

    and Malaysians: Obsessed with their imported TV shows, e.g. Friends, Desperate Housewives AND tonnes of bitchy reality TV shows.

  2. ShaolinTiger December 16, 2005 at 7:41 pm #

    Nah man Brits are obsessed with Aussie shows like Home & Away and Neighbours! Haha

    Also their own shows rock like Little Britain, Nighty Night, Dirty Sanchez etc..

    Malaysians Love yank series more than yanks themselves.

    Aussies don’t watch TV they just export all their shows to UK and get drunk with the money.

  3. howsy December 16, 2005 at 7:44 pm #

    Lil’ Britain rawks!!! Hope your not missing a lot.

    “Yeah…but no…but yeah…”

    “Computer says no….”

    “I’m the only gay in the village…”

    LOL!!!

  4. MALAYSIAN Chinese December 16, 2005 at 10:52 pm #

    Hey it’s the same thing here down under for Oriental Chinese. Caucasians here think that every oriental Chinese must be from either China, Korea or Japan and can’t speak nor understand English. Sometimes I wish I have a stamp on my forehead that reads “I am MALAYSIAN Chinese” hehe

  5. lionel December 17, 2005 at 12:24 am #

    Wow. I always got those vibes, just never seen them put in writing. Finally!

  6. Dabido(Teflon) December 17, 2005 at 1:05 am #

    I used to have a Korean friend, and all the Chinese would come up and talk to her in Chinese … and all the Japanese would come up and talk to her in Japanese … because they all thought she was one of them.
    (And I suspect it might have to do with Koreans being descended from Chinese and rape and pilliaged by Japan … so she is probably half way between both).

    If you were to speak to me, I’d probably pick you for being Malaysian, but only because of your accent – not easy to pick where someone is from if they are all Chiense descent, as a lot of them all still speak a Chinese dialect (except maybe Banana’s).

    But, to the average Aussie, yeah, they probably can’t tell the difference.

  7. Dabido(Teflon) December 17, 2005 at 1:12 am #

    That’s pretty accurate ST – did you write that yourself or nik it from somewhere?

    It’s funny, because it’s true.

    And yeah, we do have the best beer – even though I am allergic to it, and wouldn’t know the difference … but I’ve been told by Aussies, Kiwi’s, Brits, American’s Canadians and others that our beer is best (except maybe the Irish who tell me it’s LARGER and not beer because it can’t be sliced like guiness)

    takes me back to when my friends and I used to tease my Canadian friend Laurel by standing up in the pub and singing the Canadian National Anthem at full strength – and add our own words as we only knew the ‘O Canada’ bit.
    She’d sit there going, ‘That’s not how it goes! That’s not how it goes!’
    And we’d be, ‘How would you know, you’re American!’
    And she’d hit us! πŸ™‚

    Fun fun fun! πŸ™‚

  8. Dabido(Teflon) December 17, 2005 at 1:14 am #

    “I’m the only gay in the village…”
    Don’t be silly Daphyd, there’s an extensive homo-erotic section over there!

    ‘… look into my eyes, look into my eyes, not around my eyes, but into my eyes. When you awake, you will have seen the best hypnotist show ever…’

    I have a sneaking suspiscion I might be getting it for XMas on DVD.

  9. Ben December 17, 2005 at 5:13 am #

    That was an awesome summary although not all Yanks can go south of the border for stuff cos America ain’t that small after all *wink*. By the way have you watched the latest episode of Little Britain? (s3e05) it’s one of the best ever!

  10. victor December 17, 2005 at 7:57 am #

    Brits, Yanks, Aussies, Canadians have their own distinct accents. You cant differentiate quite easily though, if they talk…

  11. Lainie December 17, 2005 at 1:16 pm #

    wot, nothing about the irish people singing in pubs? heh.

  12. vss3t December 17, 2005 at 7:09 pm #

    i totally agree with Malaysian Chinese! i just have to shut all their mouth up from stating that i’m from China, by telling them I’m a Russian born Chinese, fluent in Yanks english, Malay, Mandarin and some Hakka.

  13. Jordan December 17, 2005 at 9:18 pm #

    That’s hilarious. Have to disgree with the part about how we go south of the border for shopping, cheap gas, etc. Everything in the US is more expensive for Canadians, so we don’t get it from the US, we just get it from the native reservations in Canada. And hey, I know my national anthem! But you’re right about the hockey thing. And about how we don’t like being mistaken for Americans.

  14. jo December 17, 2005 at 11:59 pm #

    hahaha… thats really funny though quite stereotypical. some of it bout the aussies is true tho. SPESH bout the exporting our junk to the poms. we wont drink ANYTHING with alcohol in it tho… i wouldn touch Victoria Bitter for instance. blek!

  15. ÀrchÀngël December 18, 2005 at 12:49 am #

    i dig at yank sci-fi

    there’s no other place.. :p

  16. UKist December 18, 2005 at 5:28 am #

    Um no longer do people in the UK only get 5 channels. There’s Sky digital which is a monthly subscription and there’s literally hundreds of channels on that, and most people have that now days.

    There’s also now a thing called FreeView which is a one time fee set top box (I think you can even get them for free now) and this box gives you an additional 30 to 40 channels.

    Looks like you’ve been missing out in your homeland while in the depths of Asia.

  17. ShaolinTiger December 18, 2005 at 5:44 am #

    Well I still stand, there’s only 5 terrestrial channels, 4 for most people, BBC1 BBC2 ITV, Channel4 and if you’re lucky (or unlucky) Channel5.

    Sky is a pay service and freeview is ‘free to air digital TV’ which isn’t available everywhere. I tried to get it when I was at home, but it didn’t work.

  18. ShaolinTiger December 18, 2005 at 5:48 am #

    The thing with stereotypes are is that they are based on truth in some part, or they wouldn’t be perpetuated.

  19. ShaolinTiger December 18, 2005 at 5:50 am #

    Yeah well I feel the same, I’m mortally offended if anyone ever mistakes me for an American πŸ˜‰

  20. ShaolinTiger December 18, 2005 at 5:53 am #

    Well everything is easy if you know how.

    Malaysians, Thai, Vietnamese, Japanese, Koreans, Taiwanese, Mainland Chinese all have different accents, but most westerners wouldn’t know the difference, and well nor would many Asians themselves πŸ˜‰

  21. ShaolinTiger December 18, 2005 at 5:54 am #

    Haven’t gotten to it yet I’m afraid.

  22. ShaolinTiger December 18, 2005 at 5:57 am #

    Heheh a bit of both.

    But yeah, well all definately have our own cultures and weird quirks.

  23. Chris December 18, 2005 at 8:37 am #

    Canadian beer?

    Not aware of any. At least not here in Malaysia.

    Personally, I like German Weissbier more than anything else. Except this brand of Japanese beer called Yebisu, which tastes just like Weissbier and is apparently brewed with ‘Bayern hops’…

    Mmm…

  24. Chris December 18, 2005 at 8:43 am #

    So, if I hop into a bar and see an Ang Moh drinking whisky with water/coke/ginger ale, what is he?

    Ah-beng?

  25. Dabido(Teflon) December 18, 2005 at 9:23 am #

    He’s still sober. πŸ™‚

  26. ShaolinTiger December 18, 2005 at 9:29 am #

    Never seen Labatts? Not sure if they sell it here though..

    It’s not bad actually.

    Can’t beat Hoegarden though if you ask me!

  27. ÀrchÀngël December 18, 2005 at 9:32 am #

    dabido: not if i can help it..

    *drag* chris over to bar counter.. give six shot of tequila.. lol…

  28. Edison December 18, 2005 at 6:52 pm #

    or u cud tell by their accents?? πŸ˜€
    n yes… by d beer they drink.. very true…

  29. Alynna December 19, 2005 at 5:26 am #

    So true! I instantly thought of Neighbours! And I doubt that ANY Aussie could possibly be mistaken for a Pom. πŸ˜›

  30. lionel December 19, 2005 at 8:42 am #

    Damn right. Have you tried All Look Same? I flunked.

 
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