Stop-over in Amsterdam – Hardcore porn anyone?!?

Ok so I’m in Amsterdam, Schiphol Aiport to be exact.

I left to KLIA last night only to find out the plane was delayed 1 hour 20 minutes because of a connecting flight from Jakarta, luckily I managed to jack some free WiFi near KFC….

…and had a few smokes, the time passed fast enough.

The train to the terminals was the emptiest I’ve EVER seen it, obviously Sunday night is not prime time to fly.

The plane finally left around 1:40am from KLIA, with me in a crappy seat, I mean really crappy, not even an aisle seat, no exit, no bulkhead, luckily the guy next to me didn’t mind swapping to the middle seat, perhaps the “I’ll crush you” look on my face persuaded him, I was kinda pissed with the attitudes of the MAS staff.

So I spent 12 hours sitting like this:

Not the best experience ever.

There was a lot of kids around but they were all pretty well behaved, just the fat old aunty in front of me who was determined to jam her chair back as hard and often as possible and break my knee-caps in the process..

I was walking around in the middle of the night as I couldn’t sleep…I took a seat on one of the crew seats to stretch my legs, bitch came up to me and said..

Bitch: “You can’t sit there”
Me: “Er why not? Where do you want me to sit then, on the floor?”
Bitch: “Isn’t the seatbelt sign on anyway?”
Me: “You are the senior stewardess, you should know, and as it happens no it’s not on.”
Bitch: “Well you can’t sit there, because of the safety equipment”
Me: “Oh I see, so you need special training to sit on this seat? Give me a logical reason why I can’t sit here and I won’t mind”
Bitch: “Well you can’t and you can’t sit on the floor either”
Me: “Ok I’ll just wonder round then because if I sit in my seat any longer I’ll be crippled”
Bitch: “I’m sorry”
Me: “I’m sure you are, you look extremely sorry”
Bitch: *nods*

I was kinda pissed then, so I drank like 6 gin and tonics and tried to get some sleep, I think I managed about 4 hours for the whole flight.

I saw the sunsight but was too sleepy to get my camera, extremely beautiful site, sunsite from the air.

It was and clear after that..

Then I woke up and had breakfast, am still feeling a little dehydrated though.

I’ve been here around 4 hours, so I’m quite bored, I went shopping for a while, bought some perfume, ate my super rings and bought 24 hours of net access for 10 Euros, it’s 6 Euros for 30 mins or 10 Euros for 24 hours so…

Yeah I know it’s still RM45, heavy eh?

But still using the broadband here makes me miss European Internet connections..

Stops me dying of boredom though, or falling asleep and missing my flight.

I checked out the bookshop, for some, er books..but found this instead:

Ass Parade was pretty price though at 60 Euros..

Now here I am blogging in a cyber thingy in Amsterdam airport listening to hardcore Vocal Trance…

More reports of weird European stuff coming soon.

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39 Responses to Stop-over in Amsterdam – Hardcore porn anyone?!?

  1. archangel July 25, 2005 at 5:20 am #

    Ass Parade??? yeh.. eh…
    hem… dont they have free wifi area??? dam expensive…

  2. Wingz July 25, 2005 at 5:21 am #

    buy me grass at damrak street!!!

  3. matakecik July 25, 2005 at 5:23 am #

    man, the seat sucks!
    MAS stewardess always suck!!

    They have their nose up in the air, speak broken english at times, never really cares and think they are superior over you cause they are a pretty waitress up in the air…. Phooi!

    keep posts coming!!!

  4. ShaolinTiger July 25, 2005 at 5:25 am #

    Sure wuthca want?

    White Widow? Poisin? Purple Haze?

  5. ShaolinTiger July 25, 2005 at 5:27 am #

    Europe like that mah..

    Sure have WiFi, sure stable, sure fast, sure have to pay…

  6. ShaolinTiger July 25, 2005 at 5:28 am #

    Yeah they are stuck-up plus they suck, they never bring round drinks and they do noob stuff like taking away your tray with your coffee cup on it before bringing the coffee so you have no cup..

    Ever ask them anything as well expect 90% of the time they will forget about it.

  7. doc July 25, 2005 at 6:02 am #

    2 for 25 euros?!?!?! You’ve gotta love Uncle Ho man… 😛

  8. yuin July 25, 2005 at 7:12 am #

    count yourself luck..i was stuck in schipol last march for 2 days…all they gave us were effing meal vouchers..
    had to shout at the stewerdess before they gave us a hotel for the night..

  9. Marcus July 25, 2005 at 8:12 am #

    Hahah what a cool travelogue. I’ve been to Europe myself – another person’s perspective just makes it seem fresh again.

  10. The Beer Girl July 25, 2005 at 9:14 am #

    i’m repeating myself again – are you for real? blogging from an airport? Sigh, you make me wish i was in kinky amsterdam.

  11. michaelooi July 25, 2005 at 9:52 am #

    mannn… i’ve never been to amsterdam… would love to go there someday.

    btw, I’ve had good experiences with MAS flight attendants, ok ? Wait till you see the american FA’s….

  12. Life Feel July 25, 2005 at 10:31 am #

    aiya…
    next time I should shoot some pics of stewardess chics.

    shoot the bitches too and put them on da hall of shame 😛

  13. Ahdave July 25, 2005 at 10:31 am #

    Amsterdam Rocks !!!

  14. howsy July 25, 2005 at 11:13 am #

    hey…just one curious question…wanna here it from a brit himself, do u consider UK to be part of Europe? I mean UK is part of EU btw isn’t it? So when u mentioned ‘weird European stuff’ or when someone mention ‘kinky European sex’, does that include good old UK also?
    And btw, I tot MAS air stewardesses are all xenophilic to people like u? Any special treatment, eh? What I get as a Malaysian myself was being chucked with whatever ‘left-over’ food (I did not have a choice of food last time I flew to Manchester) and remarks such as ‘Ini mesti orang sendiri lah…ada apa?’

  15. Life Feel July 25, 2005 at 11:25 am #

    MAS treatment is directly proportional to the ticket price.

    I am more interested to know if there is any first class passenger being bullied by bitches.

    I heard the stewardess treat only the westerners nicely. I was wrong.

  16. God July 25, 2005 at 12:29 pm #

    * raise hand *

    ehem….forget ass parade….remember the ehem DVD that can zoom different angle ?? get that 🙂 you’ll dup and make millions

  17. Jon July 25, 2005 at 2:09 pm #

    I will help you there.

    Continental European porn is 200% better than British 18R porn.

  18. suanie July 25, 2005 at 4:48 pm #

    they treat business class customers like gold 🙂

  19. FireAngel July 25, 2005 at 7:43 pm #

    bring back hash brownies!

    *hugs*

  20. Kongtender July 25, 2005 at 8:25 pm #

    More pictures(dun forget EU chicks) please. hehehe

  21. water_junk July 25, 2005 at 11:15 pm #

    yeah last time i stole away from my seat in an SIA aircraft too n sat on the one near the back exit. they shoo’ed me away afterwards too haha

  22. ShaolinTiger July 26, 2005 at 7:30 am #

    Haha, not like I havent fully explored the wonders of Amsterdam many times, remember it’s a mere 50 minute flight from UK

  23. archangel July 26, 2005 at 7:33 am #

    gee u sound like m’sian liao.. come back come back.. keke…

  24. ShaolinTiger July 26, 2005 at 7:34 am #

    Haha Amsterdam is awesome, one of my favourite cities in the world along with Prague, Barcelona and of course KL 😉

    MAS has always been pretty bad for me, worst still though was KLM..Ugly old rude german bitches.

  25. ShaolinTiger July 26, 2005 at 7:41 am #

    Well…that’s an interesting point. We are part of Europe geographically, we are part of the EU, but only in paper not in heart for example we still use our own currency, we don’t use the Euro.

    I think we tend to see ourselves as somewhat seperate from Europe, Brits aren’t really kinky, just eccentric.

    Nah by the time they got to me I didn’t even have a choice of food, all the beef was gone, had to have Ayam Merah…

  26. ShaolinTiger July 26, 2005 at 7:43 am #

    Haha sorry was too busy salivating to take any pics of the buxom blonde haired beauties…

    And now I’m back in the UK so the chicks here…are em *ahem*..

  27. Dabido (Teflon) July 26, 2005 at 7:54 am #

    Ai Carumba! I wish you hadn’t of said that. I’m flying to UK via Amsterdam on KLM. Now I am afraid! 🙂

  28. Dabido (Teflon) July 26, 2005 at 7:59 am #

    That’s a great answer – Brits eccentric. Reminds me of one of my favourite Floyd songs – Arnold Layne.

    Anyway, as a vegetarian, I usually get a ‘special’ vegetarian meal on planes!

    Not that the vegie meals are any better than other airplane food.

    Once they didn’t have one for me, and when I complained, the nasty airhostess told me off for not ordering a Vegie meal – till I showed her the ticket (whch had Vegie meal written on it), then she was very sweet to me … and I ended up having two deserts instead or a proper meal! 🙂

  29. vlad July 26, 2005 at 10:39 am #

    Two words.

    Afghan Wig.

  30. sotong July 26, 2005 at 10:43 am #

    miss you gwai lou~~~

    P/s: I want dildo… 😛

  31. Anonymous July 26, 2005 at 6:29 pm #

    Back in europe and didn’t tell me…. man, you must want to get some beats…. drop by, say hello…. I ordered…

  32. Uncover Japan July 27, 2005 at 11:35 am #

    I thought the airport was ok, but KLM flights are awful! I hate the feeling of everyone asleep on the plane, only to get some sleep when the breakfast is being served and you are starting to land…

  33. KY July 27, 2005 at 12:39 pm #

    can you like, buy the upcoming birthday girl a dildo?

  34. ShaolinTiger July 27, 2005 at 8:02 pm #

    And you are?!

  35. ShaolinTiger July 27, 2005 at 8:04 pm #

    She could use the frozen sausages for a while I guess?

  36. ShaolinTiger July 27, 2005 at 8:06 pm #

    Heh you’re exactly the same as me..I always fall asleep just a couple of hours before the end of the flight and feel fucked when I wake up..just as breakfast is served. The airport is lovely but all the KLM flights I’ve had have been a bad experience..

    I’ve learn the secret though, it’s sleeping pills for long haul flights, I just always forget to get some in the rush to sort things out.

  37. kaikon July 28, 2005 at 12:14 am #

    Told you not to make fun of my height. For long flights I even have to keep a soft bag under my feet cos hanging it on air makes my shorty cramp too LOL

  38. Yvy August 24, 2005 at 10:38 pm #

    O M G!!! those clouds are BEAUTIFUL….can i have a copy pls???? i’m a sucker for clouds…:D