Men ALWAYS Lose..

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to the men:

Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:


You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You leave the toilet seat up (-5)

You replace the toilet-paper roll when it’s empty (0)

When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)

When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom (-2)

You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)

But return with beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it’s nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it’s something (+5)

You pummel it with a six iron (+100)

It’s her father (-10,000)


You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)

Named Tina (-4)

Tina is a dancer (-6)

Tina has silicon implants (-80)


You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+1)

Okay, it’s a sports bar (-2)

And it’s all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)


You take her to a movie (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It’s called ‘DeathCop 9’ (-3)

It features cyborgs eating each other and having sex (-10)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)


Go out with a pal (-5)

And the pal is happily married (-4)

Or frighteningly single (-7)

And he drives a Mustang (-10)

With a personalized license plate “GR8 N BED” (-15)


You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)

You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” (-8,000)


She asks, “Do I look fat?” (-5) [i]Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT[/i]

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, “Where?” (-35)

Any other response (-20)


When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realises this is because you have fallen asleep (-10,000)

* Recieved via e-mail and extended a bit




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10 Responses to Men ALWAYS Lose..

  1. shiang March 10, 2005 at 10:58 pm #

    You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)

    any specific brand that’ll increase the points?

  2. JxT2J March 10, 2005 at 11:37 pm #

    LMAO !

  3. TheGreatFaggot March 11, 2005 at 12:01 am #

    Hey you story telling about me past? :p

  4. Vader March 11, 2005 at 1:44 am #

    good one ROFLMAO..

  5. Papi March 11, 2005 at 2:29 am #


  6. archangel March 11, 2005 at 2:50 am #

    good guide line…

    β€œdo u love me” does seems to apply to the above(“Do I look fat?”) marking also…

  7. suanie March 11, 2005 at 4:16 am #

    Whisper. Because it is the most expensive and the bestest. (+5) But for your extravagance, -20

  8. Dabido (Teflon) March 11, 2005 at 9:50 am #

    You buy her flowers (-10) because she wants to know what you did wrong! This is followed by big arguement!
    You don’t buy her flowers (-10) NOW She wants to know why you never buy her flowers any more! Followed by Big Arguement !
    You buy her flowers the next day (-50) and she beats the crap out of you for buying flowers out of guilt from previous days arguement.

    You buy her chocolates (+10)
    You eat all the chocolates (-50)
    (I’m allergic to chocolate, so I can’t get -50 for that. Phew!)

  9. Christina March 12, 2005 at 6:53 am #

    Hahaha πŸ™‚ I wonder if there’s a list like that about males around πŸ™‚

  10. Lou March 21, 2005 at 12:26 am #

    yeah.. pls provide this kinda list about males too! πŸ˜‰