Ok during a discussion last night I stumbled upon one of the few, rare gems in life that I abso-fucking-lutely hate with avengance.
Basically it’s like this….PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON’T MAKE NOISE WHEN YOU EAT.
Food is beautiful, eating is wonderful, it should be cherished and loved not noisily chomped on like some piece of neanderthal wooly mammoth steak.
The exact noise I’m referring to is that kind of lip smacking noise some people make when they chew…like *mnah mnah mnah*
I really really can’t stand it, it actually makes me livid to witness noise during mastication..
I can just about stand slurping…only just, it wont make me shove a chopstick in your eye, but that lip smacking noise…I’ll actually move table to avoid hearing that noise, it physically repulses me and makes me want to cause grevious bodily harm on the source of emanation..
If you keep eating noisily you will end up looking like this for sure:
Or if you don’t you will after you remove my foot from your mouth
*HAIYAAAAAAA* (The noise I make whilst delivering a deadly Bruce Lee style flying kick)
There is no need to make this noise and well it usually results from those redneck, back alley eaters that eat with their mouths open too…so if you catch yourself doing it, please stop..
Yeah and please don’t talk with food in your mouth, the last thing I want to have to see, especially during my dinner, is your half chewed food…kthx
I’ll probably post a complete list of the stuff I hate one day…there’s not much actually, this is the only thing on this beautiful planet that actually makes me want to commit painful, bloody, violent crimes..
I think I might just add some random stuff here…last night I had Vietnamese Paikut Wong, it was good, something like a load of pork chops cooked in capital sauce.
I had some minging stomach ache yesterday aswell, was doubled up rolling around like an intoxicated monkey..Other than that, nothing much going on..